ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
