can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
