There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
