Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.

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(941): View more from Florida

Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche

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(650): View more from California

she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.

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(248): View more from Michigan

He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of

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(319): View more from Iowa

Let's drink?

(1-319): View more from Iowa

Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.

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(516): View more from New York

Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys

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(312): View more from Illinois

When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?

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(312): View more from Illinois

It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?

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(224): View more from Illinois

She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.

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