I puked a lego.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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