operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
