when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You are the jesus of drinking
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
