Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
