I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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