I don't think brook has ever known best
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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