Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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