New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
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