Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
