I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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