im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
