The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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