After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
