Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
