just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
