if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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