I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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