I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
