Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
only you would photoshop your dick
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
