i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
