I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
