i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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