she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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