I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I understand Curling. That high.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
