It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The convent might be a nice break from real life
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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