Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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