Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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