I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
