sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Drake has all the answers
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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