There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's blow job season.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
