Don't make out with my wife yet
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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