I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
