why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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