She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
