so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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