Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She even gives head with a lisp.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
