No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
