We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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