when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
