jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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