Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
thus making me awesome and them whores
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize