Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
