So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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