dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
