I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
