wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
